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Holden: Please?

  I roll my eyes and type my address to him. What is it that he could possibly want to send me? I just want to go home. I’m exhausted and ready to crash, even though it’s only three in the afternoon. Must be the mountain air. I put my car in drive and decide to stop at the store for some groceries before I head home.

  You know what stinks about living in a second-floor apartment in the city? Trying to lug grocery bags up them. I bought a little more than I intended to, and now, the stupid plastic bags are cutting off circulation to my fingers, making them turn an ugly shade of blue. I step onto the landing and take a deep breath. I really need to get back into the gym.

  I push open the hallway door and freeze in place, my mouth hanging open, the bags slipping from my grasp. I hear the glass clink on the hard floor and wince, hoping I didn’t break the bottles of wine. He smirks at me and stands to his full height, a bouquet of flowers held securely in his grasp. He looks tired. His hair is disheveled, and he runs his fingers through the chestnut locks, messing them up even more.

  “W-what are you doing here?” My eyes must be messing with me. I’m dreaming or something. He takes a step closer and extends the flowers in front of him. They’re beautiful, and my favorite—lilies. The flowers are in various shades of pink and white, and my heart melts.

  “I’m so sorry, Lana. I fucked it all up, and I’m so damn sorry.” He stops in front of me, hands me the flowers, and bends to pick up all the bags. “Can we talk? Let me say what I have to, and then, if you don’t want me, I’ll leave you alone.”

  How can I say no to that? He flew across the country to talk to me—to apologize. That takes some guts. I nod and fish the keys out of my bag to unlock the door. My hands shake, and it takes me two tries before I get the key in the lock. We walk through, and he drops the bags off in the kitchen as I find a vase to put the flowers in.

  “Can I get you something to drink?” I call over my shoulder.

  “No, I’m good.”

  “Wait for me in the living room. I need to get these groceries put away.”

  He doesn’t argue, and after a few minutes, I join him. I sit in the chair next to him, not trusting myself to sit on the loveseat with him.

  “Thank you for the flowers. They’re beautiful.”

  “You’re welcome.” He leans forward, places his forearms on his knees, and pushes out a deep breath, his eyes focused on the ground between his feet. He looks up at me, and I can see how he feels deep within his eyes. I see the sadness, the hurt, the fear all swirling around like a brewing storm.

  “I was a fucking idiot.” Well, I’m not going to deny that fact. “I didn’t know you were going to be the one who showed up, and I sure as hell didn’t handle it well. Then, I heard you talking to Holden yesterday morning, talking about how you needed to forget the past and start over.” I open my mouth to speak, and he holds his hand up. “I know, you were referring to Russ. Holden told me when he ripped me a new asshole this morning for not being there to say goodbye.”

  He reaches out, stroking the side of my jean-clad leg gently. “I thought you were talking about me and having to forget about me. I didn’t get the chance to tell you how sorry I am for everything. For all those years ago, for everything that happened at the ranch, and for breaking my promises. I never meant to hurt you.”

  I stand, moving out of his reach. My mind is swimming with questions I don’t even know how to begin to ask.

  “I need a glass of wine.” I walk into the kitchen, leaving him alone again, and take my phone with me. I pour a healthy glass of my new red wine and gulp half of it down before refilling the glass.

  Me: Is my present tall, dark, and handsome?

  My phone buzzes moments later with a reply.

  Holden: No, I’m not there. LOL! Kidding. Listen to what he has to say and keep an open mind.

  I take my glass of wine back into the living room. He’s sitting there, so deflated. He scrubs his hands down his face and slumps over, his elbows resting on his knees. I don’t want to be mad at him. I’ve spent too many years mad at him. Hell, if I’m being honest, I want to sit in his lap and smother him in kisses, demand he make up for lost time.

  “Hi, I’m Lana Robinson. I’m twenty-eight years old, and I’m an architect. I’ve been at my current job for about a year now, and I love what I do. I also love to read, and my ideal night would be a good book and a glass of wine.” I extend my hand out to him and wait. He smirks and stands, taking my hand in his for a firm handshake.

  “It’s nice to meet you, Lana. I’m Tristan Ellis, and I tend to put my foot in my mouth. I’m also twenty-eight, and I own a ranch in Wyoming. I lost the perfect girl ten years ago, and I’ve been lost ever since.” He reaches out for me, his strong arm wrapping around my waist, pulling me closer. His other hand tucks a stray piece of hair behind my ear. “Will you forgive me for being such an asshole to you?”

  The air around us changes; it’s electric, full of energy. I can almost hear the crackling as he waits patiently for me to respond.

  “I didn’t think I’d ever see you again,” I whisper, running my finger along his strong jawline.

  “I couldn’t lose you again. Not like this. Not when I can fight for you.”

  “If I give you my heart, will you promise not to break it this time?”

  He drops his forehead down on mine. “I promise.”

  Chapter 10

  Tristan

  This evening has gone better than I expected it would. I honestly had no idea what would happen or how she would react. Her look of utter shock when she saw me sitting outside was to be expected, but I didn’t know if she would invite me in or not. Oh, who am I kidding? I knew she would. She might have been mad at me, but I knew she would give me a chance.

  I want to kiss her. I want to push her against the damn wall and make her scream my name. I also don’t want to scare her, so I pull back to look in her eyes. They sparkle, but there’s also a haze of lust swimming around. I take a chance and lean forward, my lips hovering over hers. I feel her breath on me, soft pants as I wait for her to close the gap.

  When she does, blood rushes through my body to all the spots I want her to touch. I control the kiss—the speed, the depth, the heat. I don’t want to rush into this. We need to take it slow, get to know one another again. I need her to trust me. I pull back, even though I don’t want to, leaving her panting, wanting more. She blinks her eyes open to look at me, and I see the raw need there. She licks her lips, her chest heaving.

  “How about we get something to eat and we can talk?”

  She sobers up, straightening her spine, and nods. “Let me get my purse, and we can go. By the way, where are you staying tonight?”

  I was hoping with you. I scratch the back of my neck and wince. “Nowhere yet. I figured I’d find something depending on how things went today.” She smirks and nods, forming an O shape with her mouth. “Not that I expect you to offer your house to me. I’ll figure it out.” I shrug and smile at her.

  “You could stay here if you want. It would save you some money. I can’t imagine that flight was cheap.” She narrows her eyes at me. “How did you manage to get a flight at the last minute?”

  “A bit of luck and a lot of money. I’ve never flown first-class before. The free booze was a nice touch.” I chuckle. “I don’t want to impose unless you’re really sure.”

  She smiles, and my whole world lights up. “I am.”

  At dinner, I pretend this is a first date and wine and dine her. I spend the time getting to know her, finding out all the things that have happened for her in the past ten years. She’s amazing. There are no other words to describe the beautiful woman sitting in front of me. She’s worked her ass off to get to where she is, and I couldn’t be prouder of her.

  “I know you’ve been talking to Holden on and off for the past ten years. Did you ever ask about me?”

  She offers a shy smile. “Every time.” She looks down at her margarita, playing with the straw, sw
irling the pink liquid around. “When he wouldn’t tell me anything, I started following your football career through the school’s website. I was desperate for any information I could find on you. I didn’t want to believe I meant so little to you.”

  I place my hand over hers, stopping her fidgeting. “You meant a lot to me. Still do. It took me two years to finally open my heart again and start dating. You consumed my dreams for years.” I feel my ears heat up as I think about the next thing to come out of my mouth. “You were my spank bank material.”

  “Were?” she asks, raising her eyebrow and smirking.

  “Don’t want to scare you off,” I tease. My smile fades. “Anyway, I got updates from Russ about you, and I hated the fact you two still talked. It was torture, hearing how happy you were from him. I even found out about your trip to England to visit him. Definitely not what I wanted to hear.” I still want to punch him, just thinking about it.

  She groans and drops her head to her hand. “He told you about that?”

  “Yup.” I take a deep breath and wait until she looks at me again. “Did he fabricate it? Did you sleep with him?”

  She chokes on her drink and falls into a small coughing fit. She holds her hands in front of her, keeping me planted in my seat until she can breathe normally again.

  “That’s what he told you?” Her voice is a bit higher in pitch than it was moments ago. When I nod, she shakes her head. “Unbelievable,” she mutters. “No. I did not sleep with Russ. Although, not for his lack of trying. I only ever liked him as a friend, and after finding out what happened at the ranch, I told him off. I called him and told him I never want to hear from him again before I went to the bar.”

  “That’s who you were on the phone with?” I ask, dropping the taco I’m holding.

  She smirks and teasingly says, “You really stalked me while I was on your ranch, didn’t you?”

  “I was coming with dinner, and I could hear you through the door. You were loud. I thought it was a boyfriend you were breaking up with or something.”

  She shakes her head, her smile replaced by a somber look. “I haven’t had a boyfriend in a few years. I haven’t had time.”

  “I’m sorry,” I mumble.

  The conversation lulls, and the two of us enjoy our food in silence. She keeps scrunching her eyebrows and relaxing them. I have a feeling she wants to ask me more questions but is unsure how. In all honesty, I’m not sure I’d be ready to answer her questions, so I let the silence stretch between us.

  She yawns, and I look at my watch. It’s getting late. I pay the bill, after refusing to let her help, and we get up to leave. The restaurant is close to her apartment, so we walk back. We still haven’t breached the topic of where exactly I’m sleeping.

  She unlocks the door to the building and holds it open for me. She stops and turns to me as she enters the hallway. “How did you get in the building, anyway?”

  I smirk a cocky grin at her. “Hit every button outside until someone let me in.”

  “Great. Good to know my neighbors will let just anyone into the building because they are annoyed with a buzzer.” She rolls her eyes but smiles. God, her smile is something else. Her whole face lights up. I’ve missed it so damn much. “Do you have any luggage with you?”

  I was in such a rush to get a flight; I didn’t even think of packing anything. I threw clothes on and pushed Holden out of my place to drive to the airport. Then, I spent way too much money on a last-minute flight so I could get here. Clothes were the last thing on my mind.

  I rub the back of my neck and offer her a shy smile. “I was more concerned with getting here today than with packing clothes. I can sleep in this and pick a few things up tomorrow.”

  We reach her floor, and she pushes the front door open. I walk in behind her, locking the door. The air around us shifts. It’s charged, heated. She must feel it, too, because she shifts her weight and looks around the room. I take a step closer, and her scent surrounds me. God, to have this girl in my arms would feel like heaven. “Where would you like me to sleep for the night?” My voice is low and a little raspy with need.

  She licks her lips and swallows hard, popping her mouth open in surprise. She takes a small step back. The urge to stalk her, invade her space is strong, and I have to force myself to keep my feet planted. “How about you sleep on the couch?”

  I didn’t expect her to let me sleep in bed with her. I know I haven’t earned that yet, but I was hopeful. Whatever she wants, though, I’m willing to give her. She hurries to her room, taking the heat and desire with her. She comes back with an extra blanket, pillow, and a sheet to cover the couch, and I help her set up my make-shift bed.

  She tells me how she needs to go into the office early, but she will give me a key so I can get in and out without a problem. I have no idea what I’m going to do for the day, but I don’t want to overstay my welcome.

  “How long are you planning on staying?” she asks as she spreads out the blanket.

  “I’m not sure. I haven’t really planned things out yet. I guess that all depends on how long you want me to stay.”

  I feel like I’m in high school all over again, a bundle of nerves as I wait on bated breath for her reply.

  “Oh. I-I don’t know,” she stumbles. “I didn’t expect you to come here.” She looks down and twists her fingers together. “Honestly, I figured I really would never see you again, so this is completely unexpected. What about the ranch?”

  I think about it for a minute before I answer. Mom, Dad, and Holden can hold the fort down for a few days. “They’ll be fine for a few days. I’d love to see Boston. I’ve never been here. Maybe you can show me some of the sights?”

  She smiles wide and nods. “Sure. I can ask my boss about taking a few days off. Let her know something unexpected has come up and that I need time.”

  I shake my head. “I don’t want to put you out like that. You have work. Go in, and if she says to take the time off, then fine. Otherwise, I can see some of the city myself, or I can wait for you to come home. Maybe I can pop into the office and see you. Pick you up for lunch or something?”

  Her eyes light up as I finish. “Yeah. I’d like that a lot. Maybe we can show you the blueprints for the cabins along with the mock-up. It will be ready in a day or so.”

  “Sounds like a date.”

  She yawns and covers her mouth with the back of her hand. “Sorry, I was up early this morning for my flight. I’m beat.”

  I place my hands on her upper arms, and the heat of her body works its way down through my own, settling deep in my gut. I place a chaste kiss to her warm cheek. “Have a good night, Lana. We’ll talk in the morning.”

  She shows me how to use the television before she walks down the hallway to her room and closes the door behind her. I should be tired, but I’m not. Not when I know she’s so close to me. Not when everything in her apartment smells like her, and I have been semi-hard since she let me in here earlier today.

  I kick my boots off and push my pants down, pulling them off one leg at a time. I then pull my shirt over my head and sit on the couch. I take my phone out, calling Holden, and he answers right before it goes to voicemail.

  “Hey, man, did she forgive you? You getting laid yet?” he jokes. It’s good to hear him happy, unlike this morning.

  “Yeah, things seem pretty good between us. She’s letting me crash on her couch tonight. I’m going to have to get some clothes tomorrow, though. I really didn’t think this through, huh?” I keep my voice down; I don’t want Lana to know I’m talking about her. “She told Russ to basically fuck off.”

  “Yeah? When?” Surprise is evident in his voice.

  “The night she went to the bar. She told me about it tonight. We had a nice talk over dinner.”

  “And now she’s cockblocking you by making you sleep on the couch?”

  “No. This is better, anyway. I want to take things slow with her. I don’t want to fuck this up when I have a chance to make things righ
t. I just don’t know what we’re going to do. Her family and career are here, and mine is back home. I couldn’t ask her to move her life just for me. I think I need to spend the week getting to know her.”

  “A week?” Holden yells into the phone. I pull it away from my ear to avoid my eardrum rupturing.

  “Yeah. You, Mom, and Dad can hold everything down. We have a light group this week. Please, Holden. I need to find out if this thing between us could work. I need to know I tried. I don’t want to regret it for the rest of my life.”

  He laughs. “Man, she’s got you whipped already, and you haven’t even been there for twenty-four hours.”

  “I’m not whipped, but I’m falling hard for her again.”

  Chapter 11

  Lana

  I’ve been tossing and turning for the better part of an hour. I was tired when I left Tristan in my living room. As soon as I closed my bedroom door, I became very aware of him in my apartment. I want nothing more than to feel his strong arms wrapped around me, holding me, caressing me. If I’m being honest with myself, it’s been too long since I’ve gotten off, and knowing Tristan would be willing and is in the other room has my body wired.

  I finally kick the covers off me and lie on my back, staring at the ceiling. I listen to the cars below me and the T, off in the distance. The rattling cars took some getting used to. I huff and get up, quietly opening my door. The living room is dark, so I tip-toe down the hall as to not wake him.

  “Lana, what are you doing?” he asks.

  Even in the dim light of the living room, I can make out his perfect body. He’s lying on top of the blanket, his arm under his head and one leg bent at the knee.

  “I was having a hard time sleeping and thought I’d check on you.”

  “Yeah, I can’t sleep either. There’s a lot of noise out here. How’d you get used to it?”